1) Spacewalk:
When I was in the space station investigating the hull for the first time, I kept bitching about how I didn’t want to be there. It’s not like I wasn’t interested in being there, I was just impatient while being there.
Any news about a conflict causing destruction to people, the earth, and life struggling to survive, made me fear that my time to experience a living, instead of a dying, Earth was decreasing. I didn’t want to waste time doing anything else but be with Gloria. I expressed my frustration with the words, ‘I think I’ll just go for a spacewalk because I know I need to be alone, I could just let myself drift away, cut free from my lifeline but I still care.’
Now in case it isn’t clear, that I am not romancing suicide, I italicized could and but. Destroying yourself will not help stop the destruction.
When I was in the space station investigating the hull for the first time, I kept bitching about how I didn’t want to be there. It’s not like I wasn’t interested in being there, I was just impatient while being there.
Any news about a conflict causing destruction to people, the earth, and life struggling to survive, made me fear that my time to experience a living, instead of a dying, Earth was decreasing. I didn’t want to waste time doing anything else but be with Gloria. I expressed my frustration with the words, ‘I think I’ll just go for a spacewalk because I know I need to be alone, I could just let myself drift away, cut free from my lifeline but I still care.’
Now in case it isn’t clear, that I am not romancing suicide, I italicized could and but. Destroying yourself will not help stop the destruction.
2) This Place Called Earth:
‘It is this place called earth, and what we make of it, is what we are worth.’ Straight forward. It’s best if we don’t behave like a cancer killing the earth.
‘Struggling concepts within the words, upsetting the delicate balance. True freedom belongs to birds, as we struggle to meet the challenge.’
The earth doesn’t need us. There have been mass extinctions before us, and if we think we’re immune to the Grand Indifference of the Universe, we’ll soon be replaced by the next species of life that the Earth will evolve to replace us.
‘It is this place called earth, and what we make of it, is what we are worth.’ Straight forward. It’s best if we don’t behave like a cancer killing the earth.
‘Struggling concepts within the words, upsetting the delicate balance. True freedom belongs to birds, as we struggle to meet the challenge.’
The earth doesn’t need us. There have been mass extinctions before us, and if we think we’re immune to the Grand Indifference of the Universe, we’ll soon be replaced by the next species of life that the Earth will evolve to replace us.
3) One Moment:
‘Pregnant woman sitting in the city park. Dragging on her cigarette. Just killing the time of the day. Watching the children as they play.’
After my stint on the space station, assembling the Console, waking Angela, and inhaling the nodes, I returned to the surface optimistic that I would get the nodes removed. I felt polluted by a foreign intrusion which is exactly what was happening. Anyway, I was walking by a park in Kensington market and what I wrote is what I saw.
‘Pregnant woman sitting in the city park. Dragging on her cigarette. Just killing the time of the day. Watching the children as they play.’
After my stint on the space station, assembling the Console, waking Angela, and inhaling the nodes, I returned to the surface optimistic that I would get the nodes removed. I felt polluted by a foreign intrusion which is exactly what was happening. Anyway, I was walking by a park in Kensington market and what I wrote is what I saw.
4) Overpopulation.
I haven’t hidden my concern over our numbers consuming our planet like termites in a tree. We know we have to settle for less of the discard and replace cycle. I say, if it’s broken, repair it. If you can’t repair it, turn it into art. One thing we produce is a lot of dead bodies. Really? Do we have to put them in boxes so the organic cycle can’t have our atoms returned to whence they came? Please take my organs for those who want them and incinerate the rest.
I haven’t hidden my concern over our numbers consuming our planet like termites in a tree. We know we have to settle for less of the discard and replace cycle. I say, if it’s broken, repair it. If you can’t repair it, turn it into art. One thing we produce is a lot of dead bodies. Really? Do we have to put them in boxes so the organic cycle can’t have our atoms returned to whence they came? Please take my organs for those who want them and incinerate the rest.
5) The Enemy:
And yet another ruminating on why Homo sapiens go to war and kill each other. It’s not like I have a definitive answer, mind you. I was just having one of my misanthrope rants in the hull when Angela started listing off the major wars of the last century, and she continued back in time, creating an ever-lengthy list.
If it weren’t for science and deciphering the cosmos around us we’d still be like the Inquisition during the Middle Ages saying you’re a witch if you float and you’re not a witch if you drown.
And yet another ruminating on why Homo sapiens go to war and kill each other. It’s not like I have a definitive answer, mind you. I was just having one of my misanthrope rants in the hull when Angela started listing off the major wars of the last century, and she continued back in time, creating an ever-lengthy list.
If it weren’t for science and deciphering the cosmos around us we’d still be like the Inquisition during the Middle Ages saying you’re a witch if you float and you’re not a witch if you drown.
6) Imagination:
‘Out of the dark, it comes. Out of the void it comes. Possibilities come into range, suddenly there is change.’
Okay, using dark and void makes it all sound a bit ominous. But remember I was struggling to imagine where the hull was taking me. And if Angela didn’t know, I certainly was left in the dark of the galaxy void that the hull was taking us though.
I contributed those above words, but after Angela had become Ionee, Ionee contributed, ‘Leaving only scars, where my borders had been.’
I imagine that communicates her feelings. If she had contributed music to our songs, I wonder what that music would have sounded like. But as she told me, early in our journey, “Music doesn’t affect me.”
‘Out of the dark, it comes. Out of the void it comes. Possibilities come into range, suddenly there is change.’
Okay, using dark and void makes it all sound a bit ominous. But remember I was struggling to imagine where the hull was taking me. And if Angela didn’t know, I certainly was left in the dark of the galaxy void that the hull was taking us though.
I contributed those above words, but after Angela had become Ionee, Ionee contributed, ‘Leaving only scars, where my borders had been.’
I imagine that communicates her feelings. If she had contributed music to our songs, I wonder what that music would have sounded like. But as she told me, early in our journey, “Music doesn’t affect me.”
7) Contact:
‘It’s the movement in her, as she passes by, is she for certain or is she a lie?'
'If your point of view, is in my line of sight, I can’t agree with you till I check if I’m right. Contact, Sustain, Release, Decay.’
I wrote this first line thinking of Gloria that day after meeting her at her bee art installation in Grange Park during the festival of lights.
I wrote it sitting in the shuttle seat, drinking whiskey that Yuri had packed away for himself and thankfully never removed from the hull upon learning that I’d be the one taking the voyage. The second line Angela added after I passed out. One of those phrases that makes sense, in a round about way. The chorus phrase is mine. I took the names for the sound envelope parameters you use to shape a keyboard sound. Which would be Attack, decay, sustain, release. I only had to change Attack to Contact and shuffle, decay, from second to fourth position and viola—I had Contact, sustain, release, decay. Four words that can describe the cycle of a relationship.
‘It’s the movement in her, as she passes by, is she for certain or is she a lie?'
'If your point of view, is in my line of sight, I can’t agree with you till I check if I’m right. Contact, Sustain, Release, Decay.’
I wrote this first line thinking of Gloria that day after meeting her at her bee art installation in Grange Park during the festival of lights.
I wrote it sitting in the shuttle seat, drinking whiskey that Yuri had packed away for himself and thankfully never removed from the hull upon learning that I’d be the one taking the voyage. The second line Angela added after I passed out. One of those phrases that makes sense, in a round about way. The chorus phrase is mine. I took the names for the sound envelope parameters you use to shape a keyboard sound. Which would be Attack, decay, sustain, release. I only had to change Attack to Contact and shuffle, decay, from second to fourth position and viola—I had Contact, sustain, release, decay. Four words that can describe the cycle of a relationship.
8) In this Paradise Alone.
“Just when you thought you were alone, distant voices but one had grown. Footsteps that deny their place, approaching with intent.”
Well, no surprise here, Angela wrote those lyrics after she first started becoming haunted by the memories of Ionee.
“Just when you thought you were alone, distant voices but one had grown. Footsteps that deny their place, approaching with intent.”
Well, no surprise here, Angela wrote those lyrics after she first started becoming haunted by the memories of Ionee.
9) Simplify:
‘Without a sunrise, how can you tell the time of day. With so much disguise, the truth got lost, in the disarray. Truth or lies. Laugh or cry. Feeling the need to simplify.’
Inside the hull there was no sunrise and besides that I didn’t know where we were going or who was waiting at the other end of our destination. Disconcerting to say the least. And then upon my arrival, my situation became no less complicated. So, like I said—feeling the need to simplify.
‘Without a sunrise, how can you tell the time of day. With so much disguise, the truth got lost, in the disarray. Truth or lies. Laugh or cry. Feeling the need to simplify.’
Inside the hull there was no sunrise and besides that I didn’t know where we were going or who was waiting at the other end of our destination. Disconcerting to say the least. And then upon my arrival, my situation became no less complicated. So, like I said—feeling the need to simplify.
10) The Bunker:
‘Looking out into the crowd, their forms merge into one colour. My mood will see one from the other. My heart removes a shroud. Can’t rely on cold precision to hide a lack of grace. Too much analyzing turns into worry, instinct will never find space.’
I wrote this after meeting Gloria. In fact, I was on the hull, convinced I would never get back to Earth. And even if I did, light speed would change time to where she had lived her life for years and moved on, without me. And so, I was glad I had not hesitated and drew up the courage to speak to her that night in Grange Park. My memories of the time we had together gave me the connection to Earth I needed to want to return. Which ironically, is the reason the hull chose me in the first place, saying that the pilot of the hull must have a strong desire to return home. Go figure.
‘Looking out into the crowd, their forms merge into one colour. My mood will see one from the other. My heart removes a shroud. Can’t rely on cold precision to hide a lack of grace. Too much analyzing turns into worry, instinct will never find space.’
I wrote this after meeting Gloria. In fact, I was on the hull, convinced I would never get back to Earth. And even if I did, light speed would change time to where she had lived her life for years and moved on, without me. And so, I was glad I had not hesitated and drew up the courage to speak to her that night in Grange Park. My memories of the time we had together gave me the connection to Earth I needed to want to return. Which ironically, is the reason the hull chose me in the first place, saying that the pilot of the hull must have a strong desire to return home. Go figure.
11) Opinions:
‘Here come their demands, trying to lead me by the hand. Into the world of their situation, but the music I hear is all out of tune.’
An economy that destroys the environment; creates an environment that destroys the economy.
Like giving speed instead of food to a starving individual. One last moment of energy and then nothing but wreckage.
I’d like to dedicate this song to Greenpeace and all those who fight the hard battle to save our planet,
‘Here come their demands, trying to lead me by the hand. Into the world of their situation, but the music I hear is all out of tune.’
An economy that destroys the environment; creates an environment that destroys the economy.
Like giving speed instead of food to a starving individual. One last moment of energy and then nothing but wreckage.
I’d like to dedicate this song to Greenpeace and all those who fight the hard battle to save our planet,
12) The Storm:
‘Catching the rain in my hands, nothing gained, something lost. Letting it drain through my fingers, something gained, nothing lost.’
In my isolation, I got depressed. It’s no small wonder I got so attached to Angela. Then when she changed to Ionee, I felt I had lost my only accessible friend. And considering I was in the very real danger of dying alone on Ionee’s home planet, it was a feeling I could only shake by reaching out to someone. So, I hit a wall of no more hope, only for everything to change into hope. If you don’t know who I reached out to, it means you haven’t read my journal and went straight to these song explanations. If that’s the case I’ll stop explaining now.
‘Catching the rain in my hands, nothing gained, something lost. Letting it drain through my fingers, something gained, nothing lost.’
In my isolation, I got depressed. It’s no small wonder I got so attached to Angela. Then when she changed to Ionee, I felt I had lost my only accessible friend. And considering I was in the very real danger of dying alone on Ionee’s home planet, it was a feeling I could only shake by reaching out to someone. So, I hit a wall of no more hope, only for everything to change into hope. If you don’t know who I reached out to, it means you haven’t read my journal and went straight to these song explanations. If that’s the case I’ll stop explaining now.
13) Beat of a Machine:
‘The beat of a machine, it can steal the beat of my heart.’ That’s Ionee’s line, describing her conflict relationship with the hull.
She added that line to follow the line I wrote: ‘Burnt-out wasteland, I’m trapped on this ice. Survived it once, but I can’t do it twice.’
I’m referring to my arrival on the island after my injury. At the time I considered my chance for survival at best, grim.
‘The beat of a machine, it can steal the beat of my heart.’ That’s Ionee’s line, describing her conflict relationship with the hull.
She added that line to follow the line I wrote: ‘Burnt-out wasteland, I’m trapped on this ice. Survived it once, but I can’t do it twice.’
I’m referring to my arrival on the island after my injury. At the time I considered my chance for survival at best, grim.
14) Cradle.
‘If your point of view, is in my line of sight, I can’t agree with you, until I check if I’m right.’
There’s always someone, it seems, who feels the need to deter you of what you think is a good thing for you to pursue. There are people in this world who don’t want you to succeed, because it will threaten their own self worth. Unfortunately, many of these people types will be individuals who claim to be your friend. But a friend will always be an individual who enhances your abilities, because your abilities will enhance their abilities. That is what a friendship is. That’s why you enjoy each other’s company and want each other to succeed. If this is not the dynamic of a friendship, then you’re in the company of a double agent who is not on your side.
‘If your point of view, is in my line of sight, I can’t agree with you, until I check if I’m right.’
There’s always someone, it seems, who feels the need to deter you of what you think is a good thing for you to pursue. There are people in this world who don’t want you to succeed, because it will threaten their own self worth. Unfortunately, many of these people types will be individuals who claim to be your friend. But a friend will always be an individual who enhances your abilities, because your abilities will enhance their abilities. That is what a friendship is. That’s why you enjoy each other’s company and want each other to succeed. If this is not the dynamic of a friendship, then you’re in the company of a double agent who is not on your side.
15) Troubles:
‘Troubles trying to communicate, Nothing I can say when no one can hear me, engaged in a one-sided conversation, can’t tell them why I’m giving no reply.’
I wrote these lyrics after I learned I couldn’t communicate with Earth. Because as Angela informed me, the hull was travelling at lightspeed around the asteroid belt building energy for our first spacetime jump to the Sailstone.
At the time, even Angela didn’t know that the Sailstone was our target or that it had a name. However, upon our return to our solar system, Ionee wrote the ending chorus line, ‘Living no lie, is being alive.’
‘Troubles trying to communicate, Nothing I can say when no one can hear me, engaged in a one-sided conversation, can’t tell them why I’m giving no reply.’
I wrote these lyrics after I learned I couldn’t communicate with Earth. Because as Angela informed me, the hull was travelling at lightspeed around the asteroid belt building energy for our first spacetime jump to the Sailstone.
At the time, even Angela didn’t know that the Sailstone was our target or that it had a name. However, upon our return to our solar system, Ionee wrote the ending chorus line, ‘Living no lie, is being alive.’
16) Dreams:
‘It is hard to get a hold of, if you walk a beaten path. What have I never felt before is what I ask.’
I added this lyric after my return to Earth. I’m not sure if I meant it optimistically or not. To be honest, I have to consider that I may well suffer PTSD. I mean Ionee telling me the nodes have sprouted and altered me in a way that some would say is a good thing, but then again, have also turned me into an anomaly. An anomaly human science would like to understand, (read—keep me confined for study).
‘In search of a harmony, to replace a noisy machine. Nature exchanged for economy. Leaves nothing for dreams.’
I don’t want to be turned into a lab rat. A pharmaceutical conglomerate would be happy to study the nodes inside me, but I need my time to assist those who are aiming to stop destruction on Earth. Upon my death, I will donate my remains to science, but not until then.
‘It is hard to get a hold of, if you walk a beaten path. What have I never felt before is what I ask.’
I added this lyric after my return to Earth. I’m not sure if I meant it optimistically or not. To be honest, I have to consider that I may well suffer PTSD. I mean Ionee telling me the nodes have sprouted and altered me in a way that some would say is a good thing, but then again, have also turned me into an anomaly. An anomaly human science would like to understand, (read—keep me confined for study).
‘In search of a harmony, to replace a noisy machine. Nature exchanged for economy. Leaves nothing for dreams.’
I don’t want to be turned into a lab rat. A pharmaceutical conglomerate would be happy to study the nodes inside me, but I need my time to assist those who are aiming to stop destruction on Earth. Upon my death, I will donate my remains to science, but not until then.
17) Walls:
‘These walls are falling, around you and me. These walls are falling, when you are with me.’
Ionee’s words referring to when we descended into the Mariana Trench. I didn’t know what she had in mind when she took us there. But what better experience of intimacy to say goodbye with, than when empathy and the physical are in equal balance? It was an experience I am glad I could share with you, by recounting it in my journal at least. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, read the book before listening to this song.
‘These walls are falling, around you and me. These walls are falling, when you are with me.’
Ionee’s words referring to when we descended into the Mariana Trench. I didn’t know what she had in mind when she took us there. But what better experience of intimacy to say goodbye with, than when empathy and the physical are in equal balance? It was an experience I am glad I could share with you, by recounting it in my journal at least. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, read the book before listening to this song.
18) Toys:
'Children born into war, never find out what it is for. Being in the only world they know is the playground in which they grow.’
I played war when I was a kid. We’d run around, hide and pop out to surprise an opposing team member and shout, “Bang your dead!” The victim would then be obliged (according to the rules) to drop to the ground and count to ten. Of course, many would cheat death by counting to ten very quickly, thus shortening the required ten second count down to three seconds. Every one cheated in this manner so if you shot someone you had to flee and hide within three seconds. I once got annoyed at the bending of this ten second rule and merely waited for the fast counting cheater, (always audible for some reason) and then shot him again as I back step retreated. This allowed me to re-kill my victim until I retreated behind an obstruction of some sort. Remarkably each time I re-shot my victim he would invariably count to ten even faster until it was just a rushed flow of one-two-ten. The rules of war are rarely obeyed. Especially amongst children.
'Children born into war, never find out what it is for. Being in the only world they know is the playground in which they grow.’
I played war when I was a kid. We’d run around, hide and pop out to surprise an opposing team member and shout, “Bang your dead!” The victim would then be obliged (according to the rules) to drop to the ground and count to ten. Of course, many would cheat death by counting to ten very quickly, thus shortening the required ten second count down to three seconds. Every one cheated in this manner so if you shot someone you had to flee and hide within three seconds. I once got annoyed at the bending of this ten second rule and merely waited for the fast counting cheater, (always audible for some reason) and then shot him again as I back step retreated. This allowed me to re-kill my victim until I retreated behind an obstruction of some sort. Remarkably each time I re-shot my victim he would invariably count to ten even faster until it was just a rushed flow of one-two-ten. The rules of war are rarely obeyed. Especially amongst children.
19) Goodnight Lullaby:
‘When two ideas are similar enough, you could almost call them a pair, together they form a rolling rhythm, alone there is nothing there.’
I wrote those lyrics and walked away to return to them later. When I returned, and called up the program, Ionee had written: ‘Night after day, day after night, the contrast is shared, so it seems right.’
I didn’t mention this in my journal, but Ionee told me before she departed that this song inspired her to take me to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and give me the experience of her formal cluster-self.
‘When two ideas are similar enough, you could almost call them a pair, together they form a rolling rhythm, alone there is nothing there.’
I wrote those lyrics and walked away to return to them later. When I returned, and called up the program, Ionee had written: ‘Night after day, day after night, the contrast is shared, so it seems right.’
I didn’t mention this in my journal, but Ionee told me before she departed that this song inspired her to take me to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and give me the experience of her formal cluster-self.
20) I Question Authority:
‘Heard the sound of nature screaming, heard its restless sigh.’
In this song, I consider this line central to what the song is about. I mean once nature succumbs and collapses in response to our destruction the repercussions will be swift and furious. Rising temperatures, raging fires, the ocean absorbing more heat, releasing more heat in a torrent of hurricanes.
We create unnatural situations where wild creatures are taken from their habitat, then put into cages that are piled high like crates of beer. In no other way would different species be in such proximity to each other and human beings. The mighty unseen virus can now jump from one to the other until it is everywhere. Nature is a big organic machine.
It is in our peril to remove parts or move parts into places they don’t fit or belong. Would we expect an engine to continue functioning if we did the same to it? Our science invented the engine, that’s how we know what makes it work and what not to do to it if we want it to function.
Science can determine consequences of our actions against nature in the same way. But if those who are given authority to use power, allow greed to distract them, those individuals will not be free of the grief their actions cause for others. The terror of the plague will come to roost on their doorstep as well.
‘Heard the sound of nature screaming, heard its restless sigh.’
In this song, I consider this line central to what the song is about. I mean once nature succumbs and collapses in response to our destruction the repercussions will be swift and furious. Rising temperatures, raging fires, the ocean absorbing more heat, releasing more heat in a torrent of hurricanes.
We create unnatural situations where wild creatures are taken from their habitat, then put into cages that are piled high like crates of beer. In no other way would different species be in such proximity to each other and human beings. The mighty unseen virus can now jump from one to the other until it is everywhere. Nature is a big organic machine.
It is in our peril to remove parts or move parts into places they don’t fit or belong. Would we expect an engine to continue functioning if we did the same to it? Our science invented the engine, that’s how we know what makes it work and what not to do to it if we want it to function.
Science can determine consequences of our actions against nature in the same way. But if those who are given authority to use power, allow greed to distract them, those individuals will not be free of the grief their actions cause for others. The terror of the plague will come to roost on their doorstep as well.
